Lost in Kollel » Inspiration

Life Lessons from Chanuka

aaron — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 05:26:13 +0000

A lesson we can all take away from the story of Chanuka: How a few Macabbim were able to rout the entire Greek army was certainly a miracle. But hidden beneath all the glory is a troubling mystery – What were they thinking? How could Mattisyahu and his sons even imagine they would possibly succeed? If they would’ve been crushed, which is what should have happened, everyone would have described their deaths not as martyrs but rather as suicidal.

I heard the answer to this from Rav Mattisyahu Salomon. He said that Jews are not bound by typical odds. Sheer numbers are not the deciding factor when it comes to an outcome involving yidden. Our fate is handled with special hashgacha from Above, where odds and favorites don’t have the same power they do for the rest of the world. The knowledge that they were fighting for the preservation of Torah and the kedusha of Am Yisroel gave them the courage to attack the Greeks even against the overwhelming odds, because odds aren’t a factor in battles such as these.

When considering the odds of succeeding in establishing a source of parnossah for your family, you may be tempted to say the odds are stacked against you. Thoughts of, “How can I, an illeterate uneducated yeshiva guy, possibly have success in business when so many others that are “better” than me have failed?” But when odds don’t play a role, these thoughts become a non-issue. The “fight” is for a noble cause, so chances and odds of success are not what determines the outcome. But your only chance of succeeding is if you try. Mattisyahu and his sons would not have been successful had they not started fighting. And once they did, they were successful beyond their wildest imagination.

That can happen with you too – if you are willing to give it a chance. Not if you sit back and do nothing.

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Escaping the Harsh Realities of the Shidduch Crisis

aaron — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 05:14:44 +0000

The shidduch crisis and the kollel crisis share many things in common. The shidduch crisis is clearly a result of a numbers problem – the age gap between the boys and girls creates a situation where there are a surplus of girls and a shortage of boys. (This video explains it well.) The kollel crisis is a motivational problem – too many unmotivated people not being responsible for themeselves and their families.

How can a girl who is facing the harsh reality of the numbers make herself sought after by the boys? The only way she can is by being remarkable. A girl can be remarkable in many different ways. She can be remarkably smart, remarkably pretty, remarkably talented, remarkably capable, remarkable wealthy, or even remarkably trendy. But what if a girl doesn’t have any of these remarkable traits? If she isn’t exceptionally smart, pretty, talented, capable, wealthy, or trendy – how does she rise above the crowd?

A girl can become sought after by having a passion. If there is something she cares about so deeply that it defines who she is, that makes her stand out from the other girls out there. For example, a girl who is so into kiruv that she is always talking about it or doing something related to it, will come to be known as the “kiruv girl”. While every other girl is being described as “a very nice girl, frum and ehrlich”, she will be described as “the kiruv girl”. Believe it or not, that will get some boys’ attention. Being passionate about something specific makes you stand out from the crowd and give you a mission that defines your very essence.

Those in kollel who are unsure what to do with their life need to find a calling. Yes, it may be true that an entry level job coming out of kollel pays very little. However, with a clearly defined passion you will almost certainly succeed and go places. Entry level jobs and their miserable salaries are for the “crowd”. But you can do better. Figure out what your calling is, and rise above the crowd.

You don’t need to solve the entire shidduch crisis to get married. You don’t need to solve the entire kollel crisis to become successful. All that needs to be done is to solve the crisis as it relates to you. And that is clearly within your ability to do by defining your passion and making it your very essence.

The books that you need to read to help define the mission are Purple Cow & Tribes. Both are short reads and pack a ton of inspiration.

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Tisha B’av – Lack of Vision

aaron — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:14:55 +0000

The destruction of the beis hamikdash is not just what we lost on this day. We also lost our connection to Hashem. Prior to this day, when we were confused or unsure about things, the nevi’im sent us messages – sometimes in great detail – which described what we were doing wrong, and how we needed to fix things. We lost that on this day, and now when we are lost, we don’t even know that we are indeed lost.

Kollel is a great example of this. Kollel seems like a great idea, a plan to ensure continuity of Torah in klal yisroel. But like many things that start out good, it has created a monster of a problem by casuing many hundreds if not thousands of bnei torah to have no decent way of supporting their families.

In the olden times, we would ask the navi what Hashem wants from us. In our golus, we cannot. And so we are left to follow the dictates of da’as torah, which is our alternative in the absence of a navi. But in our case, da’as torah is very unclear. Our gedolim do not rule publicly in this matter. They choose to tell each individual privately what they should do in each circumstance. As a community at large, we have no clear guidance. As a result, we have thousands of families living in confusion and chaos.

This confusion and sense of loss is an outcome of not having clear guidance from nevi’im, which is a direct result of golus. So that gives all of us something tangible to mourn about this Tisha B’Av.

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How a 20 Yr. Old Yeshiva Guy Gets $100k Job With No Education

aaron — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 04:10:49 +0000

I was recently speaking to a friend of mine who is does very well in the various businesses he oversees. He told me how he got started in business at the young age of 20. At the time, he was working in a yeshiva doing odd jobs, never having been the biggest masmid. He was newly married, and got the “itch” to go out and get a job. Through a series of (un)fortunate circumstances which will not be detailed here, he never managed to graduate high school…or elementary school for that matter.

A friend told him of a sales job opportunity in a nearby city, at a huge Fortune 500 manufacturing company. Their campus stretched for blocks, and when he entered their immense building he was overwhelmed. At the interview, the no-nonsense hiring managers peppered him with questions. Then came the moment of truth. “We noticed you didn’t fill out the education section of the application. What is your education?” The young yeshiva guy is ready. “My education is NONE. No college, no high school, no elementary school.”

The shocked managers recoil with horror. “What do you mean by no education? Without education you can’t possibly be successful.” To that he replied smoothly, “I always felt that to be successful in business, you have to be in business. Give me a chance and I’ll show you how even a guy like me can prove himself.”

After a stunning interview performance, which he did without the benefit of any education, he landed the job. And boy did he prove himself. He dove into the work, calling purchasing managers and scheduling meetings all over the area. By the end of the year he was earning well over $100,000 with his bonuses and commissions. And he was on tap to be the highest growth sales rep in the Northeast.

Anyone can get themselves an education. But to be really successful, you have to go in and kill it. And for that, you don’t need a whole lot of education.

(Did you hear that, Reb Kollel Yungerman? Think just because you are 32 with no degree you have no chance of being successful? If he did it, why can’t you?)

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Lessons From a Chassidish Computer Whiz

aaron — Sun, 08 May 2011 03:29:00 +0000

I recently had my computers serviced by a chassidishe fellow from Boro Park who does computers. Not only did he know what he was doing, he was more knowledgeable than the technicians from the software companies that he spoke to on the phone while working on our systems.

Microsoft makes a very sophisticated and powerful database software called SQL. It is so complex that there are specialists whose entire job is to be a database adminsitrator who can properly manage the databases and the tables, where the average salary for a good database person can top $110,000. This fellow tells me that without taking any classes, he was able to pass 2 of the very difficult Microsoft exams on SQL, which he took “just for the fun of it”. (None of his heimishe customers would know or care if he is Microsoft certified).

Here you have someone who never went to college, never went to any vocational school, doesn’t have a high school diploma, but who is making a nice living setting up computer systems for businesses of all sizes, from small to medium to large enterprises. How did he get there? By applying his intelligence (which we all have) and drive to succeed (which we all should have) to a skill, he became an expert in what he does. An expert in any kind of field, whether it is law, construction, medicine, or even kriah remidiation, becomes the “go to” person that can make a nice living whatever it may be.

So next time you find yourself saying, “But what can I possibly do to make a living?”, just learn the lessons from this enterprising fellow (and the many others just like him). Believe that you can do it, and then get about the business of doing so.

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Doing Alot But Accomplishing Nothing

aaron — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 04:08:17 +0000

There is only one type of pleasure that results in a lasting satisfaction. It’s not the taste of a good steak or a fine wine, and it’s not the vacation of a lifetime. Lasting pleasure comes only from “enjoying the fruits of your labor”. Dovid Hamelech writes it in Tehilim, and Chazal explain that the “praised be he” refers to this world.

It’s easy to do lots of work but end up accomplishing nothing. Take for example, bein hazmanim. You can find many yeshiva and kollel guys who are off their regular sedarim being very busy during these days, but not accomplishing much. There is no structure to the day, no tasks to complete, and no pressure to be creative. So the day goes by in a blur of activity, but nothing was created. That does not result in a sense of satisfaction

The Mitzriyim made the Jews work on muddy ground, which resulted in their buildings collapsing. The harsh work they were subjected to was increased greatly by the fact that their work was not accomplishing anything.

If you have a job, or you own a business, accomplishments are not a choice. Either you accomplish, or you lose. There is nothing like fear as a motivator for excellence. But someone in kollel can make the mistake of thinking that learning without pressure is the ultimate way to learn. That may be true, but learning without accomplishing is not worth much. And it’s all too easy to spend an entire zman learning and not come out with any real accomplishments.

A person’s only satisfaction is from a sense of accomplishment. Whether it is learning or doing something else, that is the only way to get the true sense of pleasure Dovid Hamelech refers to as “Ashrecha”.

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The Path to Success is a Secert

aaron — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 05:31:36 +0000

It seems that the world is obsessed with discovering the “secrets” to becoming successful. Books, websites, radio commercials, and online programs all promise to show you the path to glorious riches and “proven success”. Obviously, many of us are out there buying this information thinking they can find the secret that will make all the difference.

Deep down we all know the painful truth. If there is a path to success, it is a secret for a reason. The only way to succeed is to chart the path yourself, making wise choices along the way. There is no one to show you the path, because each person has to work it out themselves.

Why is it a secret? After all, what worked for one person should just as well work for others?

I had an inspiration from a recent post by Matt Cutts, a senior search engineer for Google. He wrote about the complainers out there who say that Google should release their highly confidential search algorithm to the public, who will use that information to make their sites in the best way that Google wants them to be. Mr. Cutts response to them was that if Google would release the ranking algorithm, every spammer and unscrupulous site operator would use that information to game the system and get their site to rank well when it doesn’t really deserve to. By keeping the formula secret, Google is able to try and focus on getting the relevant sites to rank well when they actually should, while keeping all the spammers and manipulators out of the rankings.

Perhaps this is the reason why there is no real “Manual for Success”. If there was such an easy formula, the world would be full of undeserving successful people. Instead, the path to success is a secret, something that needs to be discovered by your own hard work. The discipline and focus that is required to become successful all but shut out those that try to game the system and are not really deserving.

It’s for our own good that success is not too easy for us. The hard work you invest and the falls along the way are not in vain. Make it worthwhle so that when you achieve success you will indeed be worthy and deserving of it.

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Hitting the Publish Button

aaron — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 05:32:55 +0000

photo credit: Mishpacha Jewish Weekly

There is a tremendous sense of awe when you hear someone has published 84 seforim in his lifetime. That person is Rav Yechiel Michel Stern of Yerushalayim, who was featured recently in Mishpacha magazine. The article focused on miraculous events that happened to him throughout his life, and some very touching stories that he experienced in the past year.

Publishing 84 seforim in his lifetime is quite a feat, especially for someone who is not even 70 years old! So what is his secret? Is he some super genius? How does someone manage to release new seforim at the rate of 2.3 per year?

The secret lies in his ability to “ship” products fast and without delay. Most people have a fear of “Shipping”. Everyone can think up great ideas, but only some people actually start working on them. And from those that actually start working, only a handful end up delivering something to the world.

There is a fear of completion that holds most people back. We fear the ridicule and rejection, so we hide back and do nothing. Rav Stern didn’t care what other people think. He published. (One of the episodes he recalled was how one of his seforim was such a dismal failure that the stores called him to pick them up because no one was buying them.) And published again. And didn’t stop. That’s a rare talent, but it doesn’t take a genius to do so. It takes focus, persistence, determination, and courage. In the famous words of the founder of Apple computer, “Real artists ship.” Everyone can be that artist. We just need to push harder.

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Applying the Lessons of Chanukah to Business

aaron — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 05:20:36 +0000

Some takeaways from Chanukah:

There was only enough oil for one night, but it lasted for 8: Yes, the miracle was that the flames burned for 8 days, but what if the Kohanim would not have even bothered with lighting the menorah at all? After all, the menorah had not been lit in months – why not wait another week for new oil to arrive? Only because they insisted on doing the little that they could at the time, did they merit to see the great miracle of the oil lasting the full 8 days.
A few Maccabees defeated the large & powerful Greek army: It was only Mattisyahu and his 5 sons against the legions of Greeks, and yet they stood up to fight for their religion and freedom. Everyone else threw in the towel, they stood up for their cause even though the odds were overwhelmingly against them.
The celebration is all about the oil that lasted 8 days, even though it’s outcome was just that. No lives were saved, no great economic transformation came about, even the newfound freedom from the Greeks didn’t last. What was significant about the burning lights? It was about the sign from above that their efforts were bearing fruit – a smile from heaven. During all the chaos, darkness, and confusion, the open miracle validated their fight and was a clear signal to them that He is on our side, standing with us throughout it all.

Often a person has a business idea but it won’t make enough money to carry him through life. Other times the idea is great, but he is overwhelmed by the odds that seem to be stacked against him, such as entrenched competition or the supposed high cost of starting up. And most entrepreneurs face darkness, confusion, and chaos during their attempts to get their dream off the ground.

Let Chanukah be a source of inspiration to take charge of your life, stand up for your cause, and look up to heaven for the small signs of encouragement that we all experience, sometimes when we least expect it.

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A Kollel Attitude Towards Kiruv

aaron — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 03:39:47 +0000

There is a battle being lost every day against the Jewish nation. It is the relentless attack of the American culture against the Jewish people, and we are losing tens of thousands to intermarriage every day. Imagine a raging river rushing by with nothing stopping all the water from flowing away. This is a good description of our Jewish nation today. They are rapidly intermarrying into extinction, as we stand on the sidelines watching silently. But there are a few brave souls who jump into the river to pull out some drops, and don’t get discouraged by the dismal statistics.

Learning in kollel means to devote your life to learning Torah. Doing kiruv means devoting your life so that others should have Torah. The parallel between the two is striking. Just as you ask others to help you devote yourself to learning (your wife, parents, in-laws, and Rosh Kollel), you should be equally moved to draw others towards Torah.

Rav Noach Weinberg, who made this his life’s calling, was frustrated by the indifference of most frum people towards secular Jews. He saw the rapid loss of neshamos, and was greatly disturbed by it. Why is it that we – who spend all day toiling over Hashem’s Torah, do nothing to draw others towards Torah?

Just as those learning in kollel set an example for how to keep Mitzvos and learn Torah, so too they should set an example in how they draw others to learning. Kiruv is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate a true love for Torah. There are so many ways to help – why not get involved today?

Watch the Project Inspire Film “Wiping a Tear” about regular people who decided to get involved in Kiruv.

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