RSSAll Entries in the "Parental Support" Category

Support Your Kids at Whose Expense?

When parents support their married children in kollel, even if they can afford it, there are others who are hurt by their choice. Since they are supporting their children, they have less money to give to tzedaka, and those institutions suffer. Every community needs basic infrastructure in order to maintain frum life – shuls, yeshivas, […]

Adding Stress to Shidduchim

In our ongoing series of posts listing the negative side effects of supporting children in kollel, this one is painfully obvious. The suffering of thousands – yes thousands – of single girls waiting for a shidduch is unbearable. And yet, we as a society are doing absolutely nothing about it. Everyone knows of an older […]

Support Your Son in Law so he Should Hate You

Parents support their children in kollel with the dreams that their money is going to good use, and that their children will feel a tremendous sense of gratitude and respect for their sacrifice on their behalf. But the reality is, this dream rarely happens. The sad truth is that supporting your children in kollel increases […]

Every Girl Needs a Good Degree

In addition to providing support for their kollel son-in-laws, parents must also give their daughters a degree so they can have the ability to bring in parnossa for the family. This is the opposite of what chazal instruct us to teach one’s son a trade – instead we are teaching the daughters and not teaching […]

Harming Your Childrens’ Future by Supporting Them in Kollel

It was only 70 years ago that our nation went through the torturous holocaust, and the scars will remain in our spirit for a long time. The survivors were mostly young and had no one to care for them. When the came out, they were determined to build families and start life anew. With the […]

Working Longer & Harder to Support the Family

To provide for their family’s needs, a woman whose husband is learning in kollel almost always needs to work outside the home, even if they are being supported. Unless they are fabulously wealthy, even the most generous parents cannot afford to contribute more than $10-15,000 a year. Assuming the husband can bring home a kollel […]

Peer Pressure – Keeping Up With Friends & Neighbors

Another negative consequence of parental support to young kollel families is the tremendous pressure it places on everyone else. This problem is readily apparent in Lakewood, but it occurs even in Eretz Yisroel. It is hard enough for an idealistic young couple to begin marriage with the plan to “live with nothing” while learning in […]

The Unbearable Stress of Supporting Kids in Kollel

The most obvious problem with the practice of supporting children in kollel is the great financial and emotional stress it places on their parents. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a typical Jewish family of 6-7 children making anywhere from $70,000-$140,000 a year cannot afford to give their married children $1200-$2500(!) a […]

Supporting Kids in Kollel – The Harmful Side Effects

Supporting kids in kollel sounds like a very noble cause. After all, by helping them financially, you are making it possible for them to live in an ideal situation, where the husband can spend his days fully engrossed in learning without worrying about earning a living. Financial support, together with the wife/mother working and some […]

Being Supported in Kollel is Not Free Money

Another tragic kollel story: A 41 year old who learned in Yeshiva in the US and moved to Eretz Yisroel has been sitting and learning in kollel while being supported by his in-laws. They give him $2,000 a month, and he manages to stuggle along. Of course, the in-laws fly the family in to America […]