All Entries in the "Parental Support" Category
Day # 4 – Relationship with Friends & Relatives
Leaving kollel invariably will cause a stir amongst your friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and relatives. Its not every day that a serious learner picks himself up and goes out to work. During these Aseres Yemei Tshuva, you should make it a point to decide how to deal with all this gossip and incredulous stares that you [...]
Lesson From the Parsha: Ki Seitzei
The ben sorer u’moreh never was. But its lesson remains clear. A 13 year old boy gets dragged into court to be sentenced to death – by none other than his parents. If one of them refused to bring him, he would not get killed. The punishment is only given if both of his parents [...]
Is it Better to Drive a Bike or a Train?
A train seems much better. It’s big, fancy, has lots of buttons on the control, stretches very long, makes loud whistle noises, and can travel great distances. However, from the driver’s perspective, a train driver doesn’t really control anything. He just pulls the lever down to go faster, and pulls it back up to stop. [...]
Who Pays the Rent?
Overheard at a recent (out of town) simcha: You know what’s crazy? I pay more for my daughter’s rent of a basement apartment in Lakewood than I pay for my own mortgage! If she’s writing the check to support you in kollel, she’s paying the rent. And yes, that makes you (who live there) a [...]
My Son the Lawyer…Not Anymore
It used to be a comfort to one’s parents when one would go to law school and become a lawyer, as that represented – in their eyes – the ultimate level of success. Go to school, study hard, apply yourself, graduate, and get a top job in a prestigious firm. Work 16 hour days, bill [...]
Fending for Yourself When Times are Hard
For years now, kollel has been indirectly funded primarily by the boom in real estate that so many of our bretheren had investments in. Now that the economy has dried up and real estate prices have gone south, funding for kollel has taken a big hit. This affects both the kollel stipends themselves, forcing them [...]
The New Reality for Kollel Support
Our parents’ generation, when kollel was a novelty, a kollel family could manage to get by with the meager kollel salary, the wife’s meager earnings, and a very simple lifestyle. Parental support, either from the husband’s or the wife’s parents, was unheard of, aside from occasional gifts. Today, the situation is vastly changed. A kollel [...]
Anti Kollel Sentiment on the Rise
You may think that anti kollel sentiment is found primarily in modern orthodox circles, where the boys typically go to college, get a degree, and find a career for themselves. However, you may be surprised to learn that more and more, even mainstream yeshivishe people are expressing negative views about kollel. I was giving someone [...]
Letter to Editor – Work, Work, Work
I have noticed a recurring theme in many Jewish Publications recently. Many of the letters writers are strongly voicing their objections to the current Kollel/Support situation. The tone of these letters are usually bitter – filled with the resentment of middle aged mothers/grandmothers who were looking forward to their retirement so they can enjoy their [...]
Feeling Trapped by Kollel Support
I think that the most unintended consequence of being supported (by shvers, fathers, or the government) in kollel is the squeeze that it puts on all of us. Because we are being supported, we have parnossa (barely, but somehow we make it). Becasue we are low-income families, we are eligible for programs. If we would [...]
