Lost in Kollel » Uncategorized

In the New Economy, A Ben Torah has Better Training

aaron — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 05:29:13 +0000

For years we have been led to believe that those who push through the difficult courses in college are the ones to “make it big”. But in the new economy things are very different. Doctors face huge uncertainty with all that is going on with healthcare, and lawyers are finding it very difficult to get good jobs.

Today, the opportunity lies in those who can offer something new. Anything that is different, creative, thought-provoking, or engaging, is an area of big growth.

The big companies of yesterday are no longer where the action is. Coca Cola, Exxon, Microsoft, Verizon, Honeywell – you won’t find anyone talking about them. Instead, everyone’s attention is being captivated by exciting companies such as Google, Amazon, Groupon, Facebook, and just in case you thought everything exciting had to do with the internet – Starbucks.

Google doesn’t sell any products at all. Starbucks sells coffee, which has been around for centuries. Amazon sells just about everything, but so does Wal-Mart. So what is it about these companies that makes them so successful today? It is the chiddush that they each bring to their market. Not the actual goods themselves, because the goods are freely available elsewhere. No, it is the creativity and engaging way in which they present their offerings which makes them so valuable.

The big difference between the way subjects are studied in college and how Torah is learned in Yeshiva is that a yeshiva learning encourages critical thinking. You aren’t taught to accept things as they are, instead you question and provoke, and don’t accept the status quo. When all other solutions fail, you need to say a chiddush to resolve everything. This is creativity at its highest form.

Don’t accept the status quo for anything in life. Take your skills of saying chiddushim and find a creative way to apply it in the marketplace. There are so many areas of opportunity that lie in waiting, which you are singularly qualified to uncover.

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Bein Hazmanim Advice to Kollel Yungeleit

aaron — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 14:00:01 +0000

Dear Kollel Yungerman,

As a former kollel guy, I know how tough life can be. Money is tight, and you have to live off your parents/in-laws/wife’s generosity to support you while you spend your days and nights learning. Now is bein hazmanim, and you are “busy” getting everything together so you can go for Yom Tov to your parents/in-laws. It is also a time to relax a bit from the very strenuous schedule you have all year, so you kick back a bit and take it easy.

When you visit your parents/in-laws for Yom Tov, just make sure to appear as a masmid. You see, they are spending their hard earned money to support your learning, and it is only fair that you give them a glimpse of what their money is going for. They don’t get a chance to see you up close all year, so here is your chance. If you were working for a boss and the only time he sees you is when you are taking it easy, that wouldn’t make for a good situation. Listen up – you are exactly in that boat right now.

Yes, I know there is a 9:00 shachris minyan especially for bein hazmanim. When you are at family, please make sure you daven earlier. There is no better ammnunition that a father in law has than to exclaim sarcastically to his friends – “I was already at work for an hour when my eidim woke up for shachris!”

A mother-in-law once remarked to me how strange she finds it that her supposed masmid son-in-law who is “learning shtark” in Lakewood all winter will stay at her home for 3 weeks during bein hazmanim and she won’t see him opening a sefer effer.

Go enjoy Yom Tov by the shver, but for goodness sakes try to make a good impression.

Or in the very least, don’t give him more reasons to want to pull the plug for good on kollel support.

A gut Yom Tov,

Kollel Guy

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Rav Chaim Kanievsky on Buying Seforim with Maaser Money

aaron — Sun, 01 May 2011 20:19:08 +0000

I was recently reviewing a sefer on the halachos of Maaser Kesafim dealing with the different things one can do with his maaser money. There is an opinion in halacha that allows one to purchase seforim with maaser money if he makes them available for public use. The sefer then quoted from Rav Chaim Kanievsky who ruled that in today’s times one should not use maaser money for this as seforim are plentiful and this is not a good use of the money.

It would therefore follow that using maaser money to mass fund kollelim is also not a good use of funds. According to all poskim, the heter to learn and be supported from the tzibbur is only so that Torah should not become forgotten from klal yisroel. [The Rambam is well known for being strongly opposed to any kind of support for learning Torah.] Today, there is no worry that Torah will become forgotten due to the lack of support of Torah institutions. Just the opposite – by encouraging everyone to learn in kollel and not pursue a livelihood, there is a strong possibility that there will be not enough money within the community to sustain the existing Torah institutions in the future – including the vital schools & yeshivas for our children. As Rav Chaim ruled – not always does spending money on Torah justify the use of maaser money. Perhaps this applies to general kollel support as well.

If kollel would be exclusively for those super stars that are actually making a noticeable impact, then kollel would be a good choice for maaser money.

However, if one would truly be concerned about supporting Torah, perhaps leaving kollel and going to work would be the best way to achieve this.

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“Sorry, But We Only Know the Best Doctors…”

aaron — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:21:20 +0000

Frum people generally have an obsession with using only the very best doctors. Wherever in the country a specialist is to be found, frum people will travel to them. Cleveland, Rochester, Dallas, Boston, and Los Angeles are just a few of the cities with top quality hospitals, and all of them will host many a frum family that find themselves there in need of medical care.

Our community is blessed with wonderful medical referral services that operate free of charge to the community. ECHO, MRA, Refuah Resources, and Relief, are a few of these that provide information and invaluable access to top notch doctors and specialists.

However, many patients who need medical care do not have the best insurance, and many of these specialists do not take their insurance. Some specialists don’t take any insurance, requiring a huge expense for the patient who needs their care. Medical costs are skyrocketing, with typical fees way out of the budget for many families.

I challenge ECHO & all the other organizations that provide these wonderful referral services for our community – help us in more ways than one. Take not only the medical professionalism and experience of the doctor, but also the financial ability of the patient to afford the doctor fees and costs. If there is another choice of doctor that accepts insurance more readily, mention them. Patients should not automatically be forced to spend money they don’t have when there are often times an acceptable alternative.

Of course, in a question of life and death, the most qualified doctor must be seen, regardless of the cost. But on many matters that require the care of a specialist, a decent choice of doctors with more lenient insurance options should be researched and referred to for the benefit of our community.

Visiting a doctor, when needed, should not have to force a struggling family to pay money that they can’t afford. Especially when a qualified alternative was available at a fraction of the cost.

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The Lust to Be in Power

aaron — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:13:50 +0000

It’s a real thing. People love being in control. Some people who you’d think have it all have demonstrated that being in power is the ultimate desire.

We can’t understand it, because we don’t have that kind of money. But apparently for those who do, all the money doesn’t provide happiness. Only being in control, power, and the ability to shape what is arguably the most important city in the world is what keeps this man satisfied.

Oh, and by the way – he gets his way. Everyone said back in ’01 that he couldn’t win, but he proved otherwise. Everyone said he couldn’t govern a city on the verge of financial ruin, and he turned it around. Everyone said he couldn’t get reelected, and he won by a landslide. And now that he was facing term limits, he got the city council to overturn them so he could rule the city for another 4 years.

He realized something that many of us tend to forget. Its not what you have that makes a person worth anything, its what you do with what you have. Everyone of us has something special in them, a unique talent that makes them most qualified to do something with their life. While you are in kollel, its difficult to bring out that special quality. When you are forced to fend for yourself in the world, your competitive spririt brings out those hidden talents.

Deep inside all of us, that spirit lies locked away, hoping to be released. And nothing, not even all the money in the world, can satisfy its desire to come out and achieve its purpose.

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Frum Publications Obsession with Kollel Life

aaron — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 01:11:26 +0000

Have you ever picked up a Yated or Mishpacha lately?

It seems that these and other frum publications are obsessed with kollel and its impact on people’s lives, such as parnossah, shalom bayis, in-laws relationships, and anything else.

In the Yated, the Readers Write is full of letters that are both for (hardly any) and against (more common) kollel support, a topic which can never have enough said about it.

Mishpacha tends to write about in their serial novels, which are a frum woman’s kosher version of romance novels. In the past year alone, there have been 4 different serials about kollel life. One novel was about a kollel couple who was overly supported by one side of parents, and the husband gets caught up with online gambling and loses all of his chassuna money and almost gets divorced. The novel became so popular (and controversial) that it was turned into a book!

Then there was one about one guy in the family of fine kollel men who went to work (gasp!), was always made to feel inferior, and had to “prove” his worthiness in order to be considered “one of them”.

Even now, Mishpacha is running a serial about a kollel yungerman (the best one in the kollel!) who starts losing interest in his learning and yiddeshkeit, which is causing his life and wife to fall apart.

What does all this obsession tell us? One thing is for certain – that kollel is on the forefront of issues we are facing as a community. It is clear that kollel is here to stay, but it also clear that it is tearing us up, both with the financial stress on the parents and wives, and the societal pressures facing young couples that is so prevelant today, especially in Lakewood. (more on that in another post)

What will be the outcome? We can’t predict the future. One thing though, is certain. Stay tuned for yet another kollel novel out of Mishpacha magazine.

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Stuck in Kollel Mediocrity

aaron — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:45:30 +0000

As a whole, people are obsessed with exceptionalism. Whether its Gadlus BaTorah, or lehavdil, the world’s record holder for high diving, we glorify amazing feats accomplished by really amazing people. There is something captivating when a person, who on the surface appears to be just like you and me, is able to accomplish great feats.

But us regular people find refuge in mediocrity (definition). Its safe to be plain. It doesn’t take much work to be medicore. It doesn’t need any talent. It doesn’t require you to change. It seems so secure to sit and plan the next 5, 10, 15 years of your life imagining that they will be the same way they are now.

Why relegate exceptionalism to others? They were regular people until they decided to do something amazing. They applied themselves without fail to their goal. They applied themselves with diligence, passion, and yes, obsession. They embraced change, and realized full well that they would not be in the same place next week or next year. And one day they found themselves standing at the goal, with a crowd of mediocre admirers lauding their exceptional achievment.

If you feel that by staying in kollel you can do exceptional things, by all means, please stay. The world needs more such people. Finish Shas, tackle Yerushalmi, write a sefer, become a posek. But if all you will be is mediocre, get out while you can. As Seth says so eloquently, mediocrity will not get you anywhere. Find where you can be exceptional, and go there.

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Emotional Power of Balancing the Checkbook

aaron — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 02:47:23 +0000

There are three kinds of families in the frum world: 1) Those where the husband balances the checkbook. 2) Those where the wife balances the checkbook. 3) Those where no one balances the checkbook.

My guess is that most families belong to the third group.

When you balance the checkbook, every penny that gets spent must be accounted for. Raising a frum family is not cheap by any stretch. Tuition, mortgage, simchos, clothing, kosher food, summer vacations, day camp, sleep away camp, etc. That is why most families belong to the third group. Ignorance feels good while it lasts. It hurts to see the balance fall negative month after month with no relief in sight.

But when you take the time to go through your finances, a wave of emotion comes over you. Sometimes it is fear, sometimes it is panic, and sometimes it is an awakening. You get to realize how important it is to boost your income to cover all the necessary expenses of life. Everyone needs that wake up call, and most choose not to participate in it.

If you are considering leaving kollel due to financial pressures, do balance your checkbook. Look ahead two or three years, and you will see how your expenses will only be going higher. If you had any doubts about kollel as a long term occupation, you will be forced to align them with the fact that ultimately, the checkbook has to be balanced.

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Do Chassidim Have a Kollel Problem?

aaron — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:46:42 +0000

Generally speaking, by Chassidim there is no kollel problem. They strongly believe in the novel idea that men should earn a living, and the women should stay at home with the children. However, there are signs of change. At a recent meeting of Roshei Kollel in Boro Park, there was a request by many Chassidishe Rabbonim to enforce within each kollel a policy that no one should be allowed to own a cell phone with text messaging capabilities.

One of the Roshei Kollel present wondered, “What is wrong with text messaging? Doesn’t it save time?” To which they responded that some people find it less embarrassing to send inappropriate message than to say it in person. The Rosh Kollel was flabbergasted. “Certainly such people don’t belong in kollel in the first place. Why do we need to make takanos for people that anyways don’t belong in kollel?” They answered, “You are absolutely right, they don’t belong in kollel. But what can we do, the wives want them to be there.”

The lure of Kollel has officially spread from the Litvisheworld to the Chassidim.

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Shavuos – Be the Shepherd Not the Flock

aaron — Thu, 28 May 2009 04:15:41 +0000

Yes, I know that Shavuos is the time for Kabbolas HaTorah. Learning in Kollel is the ultimate Kabbolas HaTorah where one “throws from upon himself all the cheshbonos horabim which others seek…” (Rambam, end of Hil. Shmitta), I’ve heard this many times during my life.

Shavuos is also the yahrtzeit of Dovid Hamelech. There are many things that we can learn from Dovid HaMelech which are so very applicable in today’s age.

Dovid was a shepherd. A shepherd leaves society and goes to lead a flock of sheep. Sheep, by their very nature, are followers. Each one does exactly what the next one is doing, whether or not it makes sense or reason. Shepherds, on the other hand, are there to protect the sheep from themselves. If one sheep strays too far, the entire flock will follow. The shepherd is there to prevent the followers from destorying themselves.

Dovid HaMelech was a fearless leader, one who stood in the forefront of his nation and ensured that they stayed loyal to Hashem and the Torah. When it was time to fight battles, he did not shirk his leadership but instead went out in front of the armies to attack the enemy. When there were breaches in the conduct of his people, he did not fail to rebuke them or stand up to them, without regard to his political standing.

The Brisker Rav in Parshas Chayei Sara notes that Dovid HaMelech is an example of R’ Shimon bar Yochai’s approach to how a yid should conduct his life, relying solely on Hashem for sustenance. It follows then, that being a leader does not contradict being fully reliant on Hashem. On the contrary, it makes it much easier. If one is a follower, his faith is more strongly based on the next person than towards Hashem.

How can you be a leader? The answer is simple: Don’t be a follower. Stop doing things just because everyone else is. Stop tripping over the other guy. If you feel like doing something – and you honestly feel that its right – do it. You’ll feel so liberated after doing so.

Example: When everyone is lining up by Mendel Rabinowitz’s house with their lulavim and esrogim for his “approval ratings”, why not just skip it? Be a leader – and decide that your own decison is good enough for you, thank you very much.

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