The New Reality for Kollel Support

Our parents’ generation, when kollel was a novelty, a kollel family could manage to get by with the meager kollel salary, the wife’s meager earnings, and a very simple lifestyle. Parental support, either from the husband’s or the wife’s parents, was unheard of, aside from occasional gifts.
Today, the situation is vastly changed. A kollel stipend is almost unheard of, and if it is, its barely enough to put gas in the car. The wife’s salary, which without it one could not possibly exist, is squeezed artificially low by the thousands of women competing for the same jobs, all of whom share the same skill sets they trained for. Lifestyles have not become more modest, on the contrary, it is commonplace for young kollel families in Lakewood to purchase homes within a few years of being married. That leaves only one possible way to fill the deficit…parental support.
It is becoming evident that there is not enough money in the world to provide enough support for everyone who wishes to learn in kollel. For a couple of years for a few children, some parents can manage to do. Many parents incur large debts in order to provide support, which will take them many more years of hard work past their retirement age to pay off. But to support multiple children, each with multiple children themselves, to the tune of $30,000 or more each year, is simply not possible for most frum families.

What happens then? It is my prediction that the numbers of kollel families (as a percentage of all young frum families) will decline. This is already happening, although I don’t have actual statistics to back up this claim. In a purely unscientific manner, I sense a new attitude amongst many young yeshiva guys – one that actually believes in going to work and earning an income.

Is it because no one wants to learn anymore? No. It is simply a reflection of the harsh reality of life – that money doesn’t grow on trees, and there isn’t enough money in the world to support everyone who wants to “devote their lives to learning.”

If you are in kollel, there are a few things you should take away:

1. If your parents are supporting you, it may not last much longer.
2. If you are thinking of going to work, you aren’t an outcast any more.
3. You owe it to your parents to rescue them from the unrealistic financial burden they have undertaken. Are you really OK with letting your parents slave away for years on end?

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Filed Under: Deciding to Leave • Going to Work • Parental Support

Tags: kollel stipend • lifestyle • Parental Support • salaries • wife working