Day # 4 – Relationship with Friends & Relatives

Leaving kollel invariably will cause a stir amongst your friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and relatives. Its not every day that a serious learner picks himself up and goes out to work. During these Aseres Yemei Tshuva, you should make it a point to decide how to deal with all this gossip and incredulous stares that you will face during the “going to work” process.

First of all, remember that your relatives are greatly relieved at your decision. They were worried about you, and when you show the responsibility and maturity to take care of yourself, they will be glad.  About your neighbors and casual acquaintances – who really cares about their gossip? They will talk about you for a day or two at most, but after that the novelty of what you are doing will quickly fade.

But when it comes to your friends, herein lies a great opportunity. Your friends will not abandon you en masse just because you left kollel. Although they may outwardly express their displeasure at your actions, deep down they are somewhat intrigued and even a bit jealous. Those friends who are still in kollel with no plan at all, will consider you as an experiment for what they should do themselves.

That is where the opportunity presents itself. In your relationship with your friends, you must realize they are hurting inside, and they are in need of help themselves. Although you probably won’t be in a position to help them financially, you will be able to help them by getting out of kollel into a career or business that suits them.

Getting started in business requires that someone actively promotes your services to qualified prospects. As you engage in the business world, you are interacting on a daily basis with potential customers of your friends. Keep them in mind as you go about your way. There are countless opportunities to help another yid when it comes to parnossa, whether landing them a suitable job or a qualified customer.

There is no better z’chus for you than by demonstrating your concern for others, even as you go about getting yourself established on firm ground. All it takes is some care and concern, and it doesn’t even cost you a dime.

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Filed Under: aseres yemei tshuva • Going to Work • Parental Support

Tags: friends • parnossa • relatives