When Supporting Kids Just Never Stops

Reading Mishapacha’s article about the late philanthropist Moshe Saba of Mexico City, I came across something which is sure to be a controversial issue among many of you.

Moshe Saba, who was worth in the hundreds of millions, insisted that his son Alberto work part time. Here is the quote from Mishpacha magazine:

“Last Elul, Alberto [the son] cried to me,” Rav Dovid Yosef says. “He begged me to persuade his father to let him sit in kollel. I don’t need the money that I earn. I want to learn,” he told me.” This wasn’t a new discussion between Alberto and his father, when the issue would come up, the two of them would go to Rav Ovadia, who knew how to carefully dissipate the tension. Moshe wanted his son to be a ben torah, and therefore encouraged him to spend half a day learning. But on the other hand, he didn’t want him to be completely pampered and dependent on his parents.

Money buys many things. But a rich man who became rich through hard work, sweat, and tears, knows that true success is not just being financially well off.  He wanted his son to be strong, independent, and courageous. Money is one thing, but being a successful person cannot be bought with dollars.

But what is wrong with learning in kollel for a few years? Surely, someone like Moshe Saba who himself was a talmid chochom of note, would appreciate the value of learning. Why did he not allow his son to learn for a few years and then bring him in to the business?

There are too many well to do families that are supporting their children longer than they anticipated, all in the name of  “helping their kids in learning.” It creates a culture of dependency that never stops. How many families are there where they are in their 30s and even 40s, marrying off their kids, that are still dependent on their parent’s support? Moshe felt that while learning is very important, teaching his son “to fish” is even more important.

Is he wrong?

When Supporting Kids Just Never Stops

Filed Under: Parental Support

Tags: kollel support • mishpacha • Moshe Saba • Rav Ovadia Yosef