Lesson From the Parsha: Ki Seitzei

The ben sorer u’moreh never was. But its lesson remains clear. A 13 year old boy gets dragged into court to be sentenced to death – by none other than his parents. If one of them refused to bring him, he would not get killed. The punishment is only given if both of his parents give their consent.

How could parents be so brutal to want their child to die? After all, if they would just not bring him to the court, they wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. They are not under any obligation to bring their son to be put to death.

Yet, they do so because they would rather choose with the small embrassment of having a son put to death than the much greater shame and suffering of having their son grow up to be a terrifying bandit who robs and kills innocent people. They choose to put themselves through a lesser more immediate pain than the long term stain on their family. They choose the hard way, because it is truly a better choice, for themselves, and for their wicked son.

If today’s parents would take this perspective on raising their children, we would have far less numbers of unfulfilled grow ups who find themselves floating through life. Parents would no longer fund their children’s stupidity to “make it easier” for them to get by. There would be far fewer grand homes built in Lakewood by wealthy (or deeply in debt) parents who “only want the best” for their children.

Wise parents take a long term perspective, realizing that “having it hard” is what develops a person, and allows him to reach his full potential, instead of stifiling it by managing their life for them.

Lesson From the Parsha: Ki Seitzei

Filed Under: Parental Support

Tags: ben sorer umoreh • lakewood • Parental Support