My Secret Life – A Horrible Affair

I am trying to figure out the source of my misgivings, why am I so unsure of myself and my occupation of life – The Life of Torah? כי הם חיינו!

But I must be honest with myself. I do have a secret love affair, one that is the cause of my distress and doubt. This affair consumes much of my free time, and I feel guilty and “impure” as a result.

I love the market. The NYSE, the NASDAQ, the NYMEX, and CBOE. I know all the stocks in the Dow, most of the S&P 500, and even some of the Russel 2000. I listen to Bloomberg Radio when I am driving the kids all over town. I read the Wall Street Journal, Barrons, and even the Hamodia Stock Tables whenever I get a chance. And I fantasize about investing big sums of money in companies that will make me rich, without having to work a day in my life.

I constantly plot my strategy, check my cell phone for news updates throughout the day, and dream on. This consumes my free time, and lots of my daydreaming during the sedorim that I manage to keep.

Of course, I know it is all the yetzer hora. Why should I be preoccupied with the foolishness of oilam hazeh? Should I trade the eternal riches of Torah for the petty cash of this world?

But what can I do, it is almost beyond my control. And somehow, I feel that this is spiraling out of control, and I don’t want to stick around to find out what it looks like on the bottom…

My Secret Life – A Horrible Affair

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Tags: bloomberg radio • Dow Jones • NYSE • S&P 500 • stock market • yetzer hora