Stepping Forth With the End Not in Mind
The conventional advice, “Begin with the end in mind“, definitely has its limitations. Yes, if you set out to learn one blatt of gemara today, or to run 3 miles, begin the day with the end in mind.
Opening a business that will grow and be successful, however, is a different story. One can never know what the end will look like – it’s just too unpredictable. Instead, begin without the end in mind, watching the business take a life of its own.
Businesses always turn out different than expected – which present some interesting opportunities. An accountant can expect to make anywhere from $50,000-$80,000 a year, depending on the kind of firm. But an accountant I know makes a whole lot more than that. Why? Because when his clients came to him for advice he used the opportunity to invest with the businesses that he saw were doing well, netting him very nice returns.
When considering a business, don’t be dissuaded by the perception of low returns other businesses of this kind seem to experience. Once a business is up and running, many opportunities will present themselves that would never have surfaced if you had not opened the business. Your business will take a life of its own, bringing it to a place that you could have never envisioned at the outset.
Opening a business is frightening, because you have no idea how things will turn out. But as we see more often that not, the unknown is what presents the best opportunity.
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Should Kollel Only Be for the Superstars?
As kollel becomes more challenging to finance, the thought has been floated that kollel should only be for the super talented, while the “regular” people who would never make it “big” should go out to work and support those who their learning is “worth it”. YU’s Kollel Elyon is founded on this very idea, similar to the concept of a college scholarship which awards grants to pay tuition of promising students in the hopes their “investment” will pay off by the knowledge attained by these promising minds.
No, kollel should not be for the super stars, at least not the way the world defines who is a super star.
A super star is considered by most people to be someone with “promise” in learning, who has the head to become a great rosh yeshiva or talmid chochom. Such a person is deemed worthy of supporting their years of learning so they grow in Torah and develop their full potential.
However, the truth is that most successful gedolim did not have their livelihoods provided to them while they “trained” in learning. Rather, they grew by learning through thick and thin, whether they had food on the table or not.
Super stars are not created by putting them in a stress-free environment. Rather, a true super star is one who develops under the harshest conditions, by pushing forward with their goals and dreams even as the going is tough.
Learning Torah is mostly uncharted territory. It’s not similar to learning other subjects, where you can just follow a text book and absorb the material. Torah needs to be conquered by each individual according to their own approach. A super star learner cannot be created just by giving them time to absorb the material.
To develop in Torah one needs to conquer it. In the words of Chazal – Words of Torah are acquired only by killing oneself over them (appropriate for Parshas Parah). That is only accomplished by sweating it out, not by getting a pass on life.
TweetA Kollel Revolution is Brewing
Imagine if a situation would unfold where life in our society would become dramatically altered as we now know it, and people began to stir. As the economic difficulties drag on for extended periods, no more do imporverished families continue to agree supporting sons-in-law in kollel. At the same time, thousands of single girls grow tired of hearing how the most important thing in life is to work hard to support husbands who are learning, and instead crave for a husband that does what a husband should be doing…providing for her needs. While this unfolds, thousands of kollel supporters reroute their donations elsewhere, and even members of kollelim themselves, fed up with their unproductive lives, decide to make something of themselves by choosing a career path suited best for their individual skills.
The rapid overthrow of tyrant rulers in the middle east, as their citizens put their lives at risk just by becoming fed up with the mess they had been living in, shows how powerful the force of frustrated people can be. And where do these people get their strength from? Simply from the knowledge that living with freedom is a possibility. The interconnected world that we live in has sparked what is called the twitter revolution, giving courage to those who have been trained from birth by their governments to be submissive. Once they became aware of the freedom they can have, life the way they were living became just intolerable.
Kollel has been the default way of life for most bnei torah for the past 30 years. We were taught that going to work is wrong, and not for those that want to be “true” bnei torah. And thousands followed along dutifully, awaiting the glory and splendor of being a prestigious rosh yeshiva or magid shiur. This has been the path of life dictated to us growing up in yeshiva.
But with the passage of time, winds of change have begun to blow. The knowledge that life outside the walls of yeshiva can be meaningful and positive have begun to filter down into the minds and hearts of the mainstream. The concept that going to work can be a choice of life for many a ben torah has taken root in the younger generation.
If you are one that is frustrated with the way your life in kollel has turned out, why not stop and take a look around you? There is a life waiting for you that is not so terrible as you envisioned. Put that frustration you feel to work, by overcoming the status quo and taking action to better your life. The people of Egypt and Libya have shown us by the hundreds of thousands that when your freedom is suppressed, its worth fighting with your life to regain that freedom. Certainly that is true when the one stealing your freedom is yourself.
TweetSuccessful at Business Without Degrees?
The parshiyos of the building of the miskan are very inspiring to those seeking to leave the confines of the beis medrash and enter the working world. To build the mishkan, the Yidden were entrusted with highly skilled work work of which they had no prior experience, yet they were able to produce a finished product that was perfect and exact. The Ramban points out that this was a gift from Above – those who dedicated themselves to the work, would be rewarded by being granted the skills needed to carry out the work as expert crafstmen.
It’s amazing to see how yeshiva eductated men who have no professional training of any kind enter the work force and become super stars. It doesn’t matter what industry or field they find themselves, they are soon making a name for themselves as serious contenders to be dealt with.
What is amazing to see is how adapatable we are. I remember back to the late 90s when the stock market was booming. Yeshiva guys with no finance background at all were sitting around computer screens analyzing a stock’s technical performance. In those days, more than just a few of them were making serious money by trading securities, and doing amazingly well. When the stock market petered out in the 2000 crash, real estate came in. Soon many people – with no formal training or background – were making very good money in both residential and commercial real estate. Since 2008, when the bubble burst, it may seem as if all is quiet, but the next phase of money making enterprising fellows are out there – hard at work buidling successful businesses.
Making a living is a holy task, much like building the mishkan was. Hashem promised those who dedicated themselves to the work of the mishkan – even those without the knowledge and expertise that was needed – would be successful.
Is it any surprise that earning a parnossa is no different?
TweetWhich Son is Yonason Rosenblum More Proud Of?
In a recent column in Mishpacha, Yonason Rosenblum wrote glowingly about his son Yechezkel who learns a few hours in the morning, and repairs major appliances the rest of the day. This is an a quote of what he responded to a questioner if he was indeed successful with his children:
“Yes, baruch Hashem, my children are successful,” I told him. “But I’m not sure if my most successful is not my son who learns in kollel in the morning and repairs major appliances afternoons and evenings.”
In the article, he goes on to praise his son for taking responsiblity for his family’s income by realizing that no one else would provide his needs, for teaching himself an honest trade that can support his family, and for using his skills to problem solve and give others satisfaction in exchange for honestly earned payment.
He may not had said it in black and white, but when reading the article one can’t help but notice that Yonason has a favorite son – and that would be his son Yechezkel.
Everything he said about Yechezkel is so sensible and logical – taking resposibilty for his family, feeling satisfaction from his work, and using his skills to help others. The only question is – why does the world consider this a chiddush that is was worth writing about it in a column of a weekly magazine.
My prediction: If in Eretz Yisroel – where a working man was traditionally looked down upon – Yonanson Rosenblum can publicly praise his son (and publish his picture!), then we are definitely on the way to recovery. Kollel will always exist, but working will become the normal way of life even for the “shtarka” Bnei Torah.
TweetIs Supporting a Son-in-Law in Kollel an Essential Need?
When it comes to giving tzedaka, we try to make sure that our money is indeed going for a worthy cause. No one would want to give money for a family that is in “dire straits” only to find out that they used the funds to go to Florida for a vacation.
Making a chassuna is a very expensive undertaking, and can be out of reach for many families. Most people would consider chassuna expenses as being an essential need – one that is worthy of soliciting tzedaka for. It is estimated that over 40% of the total tzedaka raised amongst the frum world is to pay for chassuna expenses.
The question we must ask though, is raising money to pay for someone’s son-in-law to learn in kollel considered an “essential need”? Obviously, if the parents feel like using their own money to support their children, that is a worthy decision. But when the family does not have the means to do so, and tzedaka is being raised on their behalf to pay for “chassuna expenses”, should money be raised for this purpose too?
I raise this question because recently I was asked to help out with the chassuna expenses of a worthy talmid chochom whom I know. I was told that he said to the person raising the money, “I don’t have one penny to make chassuna.” Now this person has B”h a job, his wife has a business, and they make ends meet. Paying the cost of the chassuna and setting up his daughter’s apartment could have been manageable for them, if they were to pay it out over a few years (and which is what most people do).
So why does this wonderful talmid chochom not have “one penny to make chassuna”?
Because aside from the cost of the chassuna, he has obligated himself to support his new son-in-law to the tune of at least $15,000 a year. That money – which will come at great personal sacrifice – is what would have been going to cover chassuna expenses.
Essentially, when contributing to his chassuna expenses, you are really paying for his son-in-law to learn. Which is a worthy cause – though it might not have been the cause you were thinking of.
What are your thoughts?
TweetThe Path to Success is a Secert
It seems that the world is obsessed with discovering the “secrets” to becoming successful. Books, websites, radio commercials, and online programs all promise to show you the path to glorious riches and “proven success”. Obviously, many of us are out there buying this information thinking they can find the secret that will make all the difference.
Deep down we all know the painful truth. If there is a path to success, it is a secret for a reason. The only way to succeed is to chart the path yourself, making wise choices along the way. There is no one to show you the path, because each person has to work it out themselves.
Why is it a secret? After all, what worked for one person should just as well work for others?
I had an inspiration from a recent post by Matt Cutts, a senior search engineer for Google. He wrote about the complainers out there who say that Google should release their highly confidential search algorithm to the public, who will use that information to make their sites in the best way that Google wants them to be. Mr. Cutts response to them was that if Google would release the ranking algorithm, every spammer and unscrupulous site operator would use that information to game the system and get their site to rank well when it doesn’t really deserve to. By keeping the formula secret, Google is able to try and focus on getting the relevant sites to rank well when they actually should, while keeping all the spammers and manipulators out of the rankings.
Perhaps this is the reason why there is no real “Manual for Success”. If there was such an easy formula, the world would be full of undeserving successful people. Instead, the path to success is a secret, something that needs to be discovered by your own hard work. The discipline and focus that is required to become successful all but shut out those that try to game the system and are not really deserving.
It’s for our own good that success is not too easy for us. The hard work you invest and the falls along the way are not in vain. Make it worthwhle so that when you achieve success you will indeed be worthy and deserving of it.
TweetHitting the Publish Button
photo credit: Mishpacha Jewish Weekly
There is a tremendous sense of awe when you hear someone has published 84 seforim in his lifetime. That person is Rav Yechiel Michel Stern of Yerushalayim, who was featured recently in Mishpacha magazine. The article focused on miraculous events that happened to him throughout his life, and some very touching stories that he experienced in the past year.
Publishing 84 seforim in his lifetime is quite a feat, especially for someone who is not even 70 years old! So what is his secret? Is he some super genius? How does someone manage to release new seforim at the rate of 2.3 per year?
The secret lies in his ability to “ship” products fast and without delay. Most people have a fear of “Shipping”. Everyone can think up great ideas, but only some people actually start working on them. And from those that actually start working, only a handful end up delivering something to the world.
There is a fear of completion that holds most people back. We fear the ridicule and rejection, so we hide back and do nothing. Rav Stern didn’t care what other people think. He published. (One of the episodes he recalled was how one of his seforim was such a dismal failure that the stores called him to pick them up because no one was buying them.) And published again. And didn’t stop. That’s a rare talent, but it doesn’t take a genius to do so. It takes focus, persistence, determination, and courage. In the famous words of the founder of Apple computer, “Real artists ship.” Everyone can be that artist. We just need to push harder.
TweetFrom Kollel to Business…with a Partner
When kollel yungeliet leave kollel to form their own businesses, they invariably do so with a partner. Almost never do you find a new business in Lakewood opened with just one owner. And most frum owned businesses are started the same way.
Given that many partnerships don’t end nicely, why do we continue to open businesses together with someone else? If one person can’t come up with the money to start up on his own, he may have to look for someone else to put up part of the funding. But that is not always the case. Many times both partners are broke, and the money for starting up comes from friends/family/investors etc.
Perhaps subconsciously the reason we tend to open with a partner is from our yeshiva/kollel days, where we spend our days learning with a partner. We get used to only learning with someone else, otherwise the quality of the learning is not the same. Automatically we take this idea to starting a business. We tend to think that if we don’t have someone else to work with, then it won’t end up being worthy of anything.
Partnerships do provide this advantage, but there are serious risks involved. Everyone knows of a partnership that has a messy ending, splitting up lifelong friends and even family members apart. You don’t have to open shop with a partner. Instead, consider going over major business decisions with an advisor who is older, wiser, and more experienced than you. He will be more than willing to coach you along and give guidance. Or, if you do need someone else to be involved in the day to day operations, hire them and pay them from profits.
Frum business owners get their training in the beis medrash, not in the real world. Before jumping into business, think for a minute if you are doing the right thing. A bad chavrusa is an easy problem to fix. But a bad partner is a mess that can drag you down for a long time. There is a better way.
TweetTu Bshvat – A Multitude of Choices
It’s Tu B’shvat, and the choices are endless. No, not the choices of fruit to eat. It’s the opening of the freezer in Lakewood, when the fresh batch of bochurim are free to date at last. Of course, the negotiations have been ongoing for months, and by now every eligible bochur in Lakewood has at least 10 different girls to choose from.
However, in many frum homes across town and all over the country, the situation is not so rosy. Thousands of eligible girls are sitting and waiting for the phone to ring. It’s been months since they’ve dated, and their list of names are slim to none.
Do the boys really have it so good? Is the fact their phones don’t stop ringing and the list keeps on growing with an abundance of names something to envy?
When faced with too much choices, it becomes difficult to make decisions. Where does one start? How do we begin to select from all the names of girls (who all are great girls, of course)? It then becomes a full time job for the bochur or his parents to whittle down the list and make broad generalizations (no out-of-town girls, the father has to be heimish, what does he do for a living, etc.) to settle on just a few names.
However, by the girls’ side of things, when a name finally does come in, it gets full attention. Because names are far and few in between, the decision doesn’t have to be based on trivialities, but rather on substance. Most of the time, the girl will agree to meet him, for lack of alternative choices. The decision process is practically non-existent.
If you think I’m wrong, and that having endless choices is a good thing, then please do me a favor. Go into the halls of any kollel, and explain that to the many yungeleit who are looking to move on, but don’t know what they should go into.
They are looking for something to do, but they don’t know where to begin. The world of opportunities is too big, so they have to start making decisions based on trivialities. Not based on real criteria such as what they enjoy doing, or what they seem to have a talent for, but rather on considerations like “What will X think about me?” or “My in-laws will be mortified if I do…” Or, even worse, they become so overwhelmed with all the choices that they freeze in fear and don’t take any action, because they can’t come to a decision on what to do.
Having choices is a great thing, but too many choices make it hard to make a decision worth following.
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