Response to Mishpacha Magazine’s Goldmines Story

Mishpacha magazine (order a copy by clicking here) just ran a story called Goldmines that got many people all fired up.

The story is almost predictable. A mother of 3 “top” boys wants only the best for her sons, after all, they are great masmidim and budding talmidei chachamim. She marries them all off to girls who have professions, so they can provide their families with material needs while their husbands toil in Torah.

Years go on, the wives work very hard on their businesses while neglecting their families, leaving their husbands to take their place. After a few years, the wives are fully involved in their successful enterprises, while the husbands’ learning all have taken second place to their primary roles of being surrogate mothers to their children.

The story ends with the mother expressing regret for choosing career women for her sons. And if people will ask, “How will they be able to marry off their children?” she replies, “What is wrong with having a little emunah?”

Mishpacha’s readers fired off their angry replies, which were harshly critical of the mother and her expectations. If the wife is busy working, they feel, certainly the husband must take upon himself the responsibility of running the house, even if his learning would suffer as a result. What about the husband’s learning? The consensus of the (woman) writers were – “So be it, as long as he helps his hard working wife.”

Stop and think for a minute. If the husband is not able to learn properly because of his obligation to help his wife, why is the wife working in the first place? Only to support her family so her husband can learn. But if he is not learning due to his “obligation” to help his wife, there is no reason in the world why he should be helping and she should be working.

The truth really is, that the mother’s insistince on “income-producing” wives for her sons had nothing to do with learning, and everything to do with money. Her main concern was that her sons should be “taken care” of financially, without having to worry about parnossa. Oh, and on the side they may as well learn, since they won’t be doing anything else.

Had she really worried about her sons’ learning, she would not have insisted on a career woman for her prized sons. Instead, she would seek a woman who appreciates the true value of Torah. A girl who understands what Torah really is would make sure her husband is able to learn throughout all situations. Instead, the mother chose to run after money, and that is what she ended up with – money, but no Torah.

Response to Mishpacha Magazine’s Goldmines Story

Filed Under: Kollel Finances

Tags: amitz • goldmines • mishpacha • wife working