Son Apologizes for His Dead Father Not Learning in Kollel

If I wouldn’t have seen it myself, I would not believe it.

I recently attended the levaya of the father of one of my friends back in yeshiva, who was tragically niftar at the young age of 61 after suffering from cancer. He was a person that loved to learn Torah, and devoted many hours of his week to learning. But at the levaya, his son – who is learning in kollel together with all of his brothers – felt it necessary to apologize to the assembled why his father went to work. He explained that his father took advice from his rebbe before he went to work, and that he had no other choice but to work – since he had no one to support him.

Why does the son feel the need to apologize? Did his father do something wrong? Did he even do something out of the ordinary that required further explanation? Of course not. When he went to work 40 years ago most people didn’t even know what the word kollel meant. Certainly the concept of “support” was unheard of – that insanity hadn’t taken hold back then.

When kollel becomes so commonplace that a son feels the need to apologize why his dead father chose to “go to work”, that is not mesirus nefesh for Torah. True learning in kollel always involved great sacrifice, including being subject to ridicule and extreme poverty.

There should be nothing to be ashamed of for doing what is normal.

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