A well known g’vir had been supporting his son-in-law and daughter for over 20 years by simply giving them a checkbook that did not have to be balanced. Meaning, they would be able to write checks without having to worry if there was enough money in the account, because there always was enough. They were able to shop for food, clothing, seforim, furniture, even take the family to Eretz Yisroel for Yom Tov, without having to account for a thing.

This son-in-law once related to a close friend, “I don’t know what it means to pay an electric bill. I never paid one in my life.” Of course he mailed the check to the utility company. He just meant that the money came out of an account that he did not see, did not know, and quite frankly, didn’t care much about.

That is, until six months ago. Six month’s ago, his father in law’s business got zapped by the economic downturn. He informed his son-in-law that the “account” from which the checks were drawn was being closed. No further explanation was necessary. They were being placed “on their own” after being on the draw for over 20 years.

The problem is not that the support stopped so abruptly. The problem is not that he is refusing to continue supporting them after 20 years. The real problem here is that the father of this family hasn’t a clue on how to manage money. Imagine a 45 year old with no idea on how to pay a light bill, where to get money to buy clothing, and how to pay the mortgage.

Add to that his daughter just turned 18 years old. Weddings are just around the corner. And he hasn’t a clue on how he is going to pay for them. Since he always lived comfortably, the velt (and shadchanim) will expect him to be generous with support and chasusna expenses.

The final word: Unless the father in law’s money comes back really quick, their family would have been better off had they not lived off his support all these years. Then they at least would have a clue.

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