This is the harsh reality. However, it is readily overcome. Frum Jews, at least those who work, tend to have higher levels of income and wealth than average. On the surface, that seems counterintuitive. Frum people, who are bound by Torah and Mitzvos, are faced with innumerable restrictions. No work on Shabbos or Yom Tov, davening 3 times a day, kvius ittim l’Torah (hopefully). Add to that the kinds of businesses that one is not allowed to engage in, such ascertain food items, shatnez, ribbis, ona’ah, etc. Couple this with the high cost of being a frum Jew, from yeshiva tuition to the high cost of kosher food, from the large families we tend to have to the huge expenses associated with marrying off a child. Don’t forget maaser obligations to our numerous mosdos of Torah and Chessed. There are social obligations such as dinners, parties, summer vacations, and clothing costs. Even though we are encumbered with all these challenges, many of us manage to overcome them, producing vast sums of money in the process.

The cards may be stacked against us, but we have what it takes to break through it all and win. Take for example the famous B & H. They increased their sales through the worst recession in years, as competitors such as Circuit City went bankrupt. (Joel Spolsky wrote a great piece on how they withstood the devastation all around them.) To top it off, they close their store – and their cash generating website – over Shabbos and Yom Tov. At least 1/7th of the week, they are closed – no sales, no orders, nothing. And yet, they are making money like never before.

If they can do it, you can do it. Face the challenge head on. You have what it takes to win.

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My guess is that most families belong to the third group.

When you balance the checkbook, every penny that gets spent must be accounted for. Raising a frum family is not cheap by any stretch. Tuition, mortgage, simchos, clothing, kosher food, summer vacations, day camp, sleep away camp, etc. That is why most families belong to the third group. Ignorance feels good while it lasts. It hurts to see the balance fall negative month after month with no relief in sight.

But when you take the time to go through your finances, a wave of emotion comes over you. Sometimes it is fear, sometimes it is panic, and sometimes it is an awakening. You get to realize how important it is to boost your income to cover all the necessary expenses of life. Everyone needs that wake up call, and most choose not to participate in it.

If you are considering leaving kollel due to financial pressures, do balance your checkbook. Look ahead two or three years, and you will see how your expenses will only be going higher. If you had any doubts about kollel as a long term occupation, you will be forced to align them with the fact that ultimately, the checkbook has to be balanced.

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