Lost in Kollel » learning

Shavuos – What Does Kabbolas HaTorah Really Mean?

aaron — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:00:01 +0000

Back when I learned in Lakewood Yeshiva, I remember how much was said about Shavuos being a “Kabbolas HaTorah,” up to the joyous dancing at the end of Yom Tov that lasts well into the late hours of the night. As a kollel yungerman, I was able to connect with the feeling, being able to spend my days fully engrossed in limud haTorah.

Now that I am out of kollel, it’s more difficult to connect with it. What does Kabbolas HaTorah really mean? Is Shavuos meant for us “working guys”, or is it just for the bnei Torah who don’t do anything else?

The truth is, being out of kollel gives one a unique opportunity at doing an authentic Kabbolas HaTorah, one that just isn’t possible for those in kollel or even those in chinuch.

One of the most famous Medrashim we retell on Shavuos is how Hashem brought the Torah to all the nations of the world, asking them to accept it, which they all refused to do, except for the Jews. We accepted the Torah blindly, without knowing all that it contained, because we accepted Hashem’s total mastery over us, even though no other nation was willing to do so. Thus, true Kabbolas HaTorah means to do so even though no one else is doing so, and even though it is not easy to do so.

Someone whose job it is to learn, whether as a Rebbe or as a kollel yungerman, there is no great need for Kabbolas HaTorah because they are already there. Sure, they need the commitment to continue doing so, and to strengthen their learning while they are doing so, but nevertheless there is no new yoke to accept upon themselves.

On the other hand, those who don’t learn for a living, Kabolas HaTorah takes on a whole new meaning. It means accepting upon oneself to learn while no one else seems to do so. It means making sure the learning that one does is meaningful and lasting – not just sufficing with a poor excuse of Daf Yomi. While the rest of the world (and many of our friends) spend their nights socializing, partying, and just wasting their time, you have a serious seder limud with a chavrusa.

If you are in that situation, every day requires a new Kabbolas HaTorah. It’s all too easy to fall back into the default mode of “not learning” just like so many of your friends. It requires determination, strength, and the complete submission to Hashem’s mastery. Thus, a Kabbolas HaTorah exactly the way it was done back in the year 2448.

So let’s get out the paper and pen, and before Yom Tov arrives write down our personal Kabbolas HaTorah. We are going to commit to a serious seder, and choose our limud wisely. Most importantly, we will have a specific goal in mind. By this coming Simchas Torah, exactly 135 days from now, we will have completed a milestone of some kind – whether it is a messechta, a perek, or a particular topic. On this coming Simchas Torah, when we dance hakafos, we won’t just be rejoicing at our brothers’ simcha, instead the joy will be our own for having captured a true Kabbolas HaTorah.

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Loving What You Do: Starting The New Z’man

aaron — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 05:45:14 +0000

Let’s face it: Most successful people love what they do. It’s almost impossible to throw oneself into something that you hate doing. And its almost impossible to be successful without throwing yourself into it.

What is success? It’s not measured in dollars or fame. Success is defined by Chazal as being the ultimate blessing – Shalom. It is the last word in Birchas Kohanim, and Rashi explains that without peace nothing else counts.

If you see someone doing something and he is truly at peace with it, then you know he is successful. Whether or not that person has money is not the issue. They have achieved success at what they do – and therefore they are at peace.

Yehudah Green is a great example of a man at peace. Watching him sing at a performance is truly a sight to behold. He LOVES what he does. When he sings, he infects the crowd with his contagious spirit. As the performance goes on, he doesn’t lose intesity, but instead gets more and more involved. He truly throws himself into his singing and his audience, which underscores his passion for what he is doing. It doesn’t matter how many times he has performed that day, each one is with the strengh and freshness of the first time.

Now we’re off to a new z’man. As you enter the doors of your kollel for yet another year of learning, the question you face is very simple – Do you really love what you do? If you do, you will be at peace with yourself, and you are in the right occupation. But if your learning is a struggle, day in and day out, maybe its time to face the hard truth that you really don’t love learning. And if you don’t really love learning, it will be impossible for you to be successful in kollel. Which means that you – and your learning – might just be better off if you leave kollel.

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Learning for Money

admin — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:25:30 +0000

Is Torah Learning all for money?

I tutor at night to be able to pay the bills. In shul with my talmid, I see scores of others doing the same. Even highly acclaimed rabbeim are using their time at night to make extra money by tutoring, preparing boys for bar mitzva, or learning with baalei batim for money.

Sometimes, I am jealous of those baalei batim. They learn for free, no one pays them to learn. But I learn because it’s my J-O-B. Does that mean that I am a bad person? Of course not. But it takes away the special feeling of learning Torah out of love for it.

When I am out of yeshiva, it’s hard to get any learning done. Maybe a quick glance in a sefer on the parsha when I’m home over Shabbos, and my wife and kids don’t need me. But generally speaking, most of my learning is done for money, and I don’t enjoy it one bit.

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