The typical 30-40 year old Kollel yungerman is a complete paradox. On the one hand, he does not want to leave kollel, for he feels that he must get a “shteler” in order to “be anything” in life. If he leaves, he will never get a job, and he certainly feels that he is deserving of a respectable position. On the other hand, he is full of tremendous self doubt and lack of self esteem when faced with the question of, “What are your future plans?” He tries to wiggle his way out of giving a straight answer whenever his parents/ grandparents/ uncles /family acquaintances strike up a conversation about how things are doing.

Why is that? As a member of the herd, a kollel yungerman has been programmed from the start to achieve the ultimate pinnacle of success – which is to get the coveted “shteler”. Anything else is akin to admitting failure, and which yeshiva guy with any sense of pride would want to admit that? To save face, a yungerman at the crossroads of life must still declare that he is in the running for the ultimate success.

But on the other hand, the odds are clearly stacked against him. Hundreds of other, far more qualified young talmidei chachomim are in direct competition for the few shtelers that are available to someone “outside the family”. He knows deep down that the chances of him getting a decent shteler is very low, and that he won’t be able to hold out that long enough to get one. And even if he does get one, he is plagued with doubts on how well of a job he is able to do. Therefore, under the surface, your average 30 year old kollel member is a mess – torn between putting on a good showing for his parents / in laws / friends / spouse, and the harsh reality that becomes more and more apparent each and every day.

Life is full of choices, and ultimately, it’s up to you to make the right decision. Not your mother or father, not your rebbe or chaver. Only you can do what’s right for you. When the going gets tough, it’s up to you to be a man, and overcome your indecision. It’s up to you to stand up and do what’s right, and not to give heed to what other people think about you. Deep down, you know the truth. You won’t ever get that shteler, and if you do it’s going to be long wait. Your family needs you. You need to move on with life. It’s time to discover the true opportunity that is waiting for you. There is something on this world that only you are uniquely qualified to do.

If you are 30, and reading these lines, don’t allow yourself to turn 40 before you do anything. Life is too short, and the job you have is too great, to allow the fears of what other people think about you run your life.

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Kollel Yungerleit in Lakewood are especially sensitive to high gas prices. Most families live on a fixed income, which does not go up at all with the cost of living. (Lakewood Yeshiva Kollel Checks are $80 a week, and have been that amount for almost 30 years!)

Lakewood kollel families typically do a lot of driving, especially in the summer months as thousands flock to the Catskills to enjoy the bungalows so graciously provided for by their parents and in-laws. A round-trip from Lakewood to the Catskills will cost around $80 for gas and tolls.

But the ones who are really hurting are those who travel for their shtellehs (positions). So many rabbeim that live in Lakewood teach in far away places, such as New York, Staten Island, Passaic, Queens, Far Rockaway, Mosney, and even Baltimore! The cost of their commute has practically doubled, reducing their earnings dramatically. Yeshivos and Day Schools are in no position to reimburse them for their added expenses, leading to further financial distress.

May Hashem spare us from futher price hikes, and give these hard working Rabbeim the financial peace they deserve.

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