Lost in Kollel » tzedaka

Support Your Kids at Whose Expense?

aaron — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 14:20:25 +0000

When parents support their married children in kollel, even if they can afford it, there are others who are hurt by their choice. Since they are supporting their children, they have less money to give to tzedaka, and those institutions suffer.

Every community needs basic infrastructure in order to maintain frum life – shuls, yeshivas, girls’ schools, mikvah, kashrus, etc. These are vital for a community to function, they are not optional. Most community institutions need all the financial help they can get, and they often struggle just to cover their budgets. In terms of priority, there is no question that these institutions take precedence to any other kind of tzedaka, because without them, the community could not exist. Many rabbonim have ruled that a person’s tzedaka should first be given to their childrens’ schools before any other cause.

But when parents are spending so much money on supporting their children, often much more than the required maaser of 10%, how much is left for the community institutions? When they allocate all their tzedaka to their own children, the institutions that need it the most suffer the greatest. This is happening in out of town communites such as Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago, and Toronto, and even in Brooklyn and Monsey. Schools and yeshivos complain that their parents say they cannot afford to give generously to their own institutions since they are sending so much money to their children in Lakewood.

If giving support to your children did not harm anyone, that would be one thing. But when the support comes at the expense of these vital institutions that a community needs to survive, it is clearly wrong. Every day these mosdos struggle just to stay open. If they had only a fraction of the money that is being sent by parents to support their children, how much easier would it be for them? How much more good could they do for their community if they only had a little more money?

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Who’s Jealous of Whom?

aaron — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:13:51 +0000

Usually its the poor kollel guy or “person in chinuch” guy who is jealous of the fancy rich guy, with the fancy cars, big house, and the “freedom” to spend thousands of dollars without giving it a second thought.

But on Purim, the reverse is true. Its a lot easier to be a simple poor person who can go collecting by all the rich homes, and sending a simple shalach manos will be just fine, than to have to bear the “burden” of being a rich guy who needs to dish out large sums of money to tzedaka and impress friends with elaborate “themes” just to save face.

Being poor is no picnic all year round. But on Purim, take small comfort in the fact that some rich folks are wishing they were in your shoes – if only for a day.

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Help Others Without Giving Money

aaron — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 14:02:52 +0000

This week, 2 incidents proved to me how helping poeple can be easily achieved without costing you a penny.

A friend of mine who is going through a “career change”, is looking to get involved in a business that provides services to very specific kinds of businesses. Because the program is only of use to very specific kinds of businesses, he doesn’t have too many leads to approach. He asked me to call a relative of mine who works in the medical field to see if he could get some contacts from him. I called the relative, and after just 2 phone calls, I put them in touch with each other, probably resulting in a lucrative deal for my friend. This cost me nothing, and it gave my friend a great boost to his fledgling business.

In a similar story, a friend of mine connected me to a person who agreed to meet with me and offer me valuable business advice. This person runs a multi million dollar business, and I would never have been able to sit down with him and hear his ideas, until the friend of mine made the connection. Funny thing is – he was actually very happy to give me the time, and even offered to be of help whenever I need.

It’s hard to give someone your hard earned money. After all, there are so many things that you could be doing with that money, and giving it to someone else is probably not high on your list. But there are so many people who you could be helping without having to part with money.

Everyone is connected to someone who can help someone else. Networking, the life and blood of all business deals, is very easily accomplished in our community. Who doesn’t know someone who works in the medical supply field, the banking industry, real estate, etc.

Business is constantly evolving, and opportunities are always arising. Chances are, there is someone who you know that can be a great source of help for someone that you know who is trying to get a business started, or a deal through. Instead of shying away, help them by picking up the phone and calling that person for them.

You’ll be doing a tremendous chessed, and the person you are asking will likely be very glad to be of help. And best of all, it won’t cost you a dime.

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